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It can't come back, it can't...

I've had a headache all day... and my throat hurts... and there is a definite mashed potato-ey type of sound to my voice...

I'm not getting sick, I'm not getting sick, I'm not getting sick.

Allergies be damned... I will Claritin and feel better.

Or just nurse myself back to health with ice cream? You think maybe?

I sit on the couch tonight and watch two of my favorite shows. Ax Men, which is on the History Channel, is a show that follows 4 different logging crews through a season. I LOVE THEM ALL. And want to have a beer with them at the bar on Main Street after they get in off the mountain.

Pick any town in the Northwest, a few that I have lived in, and you will find these men. They are dirty, extremely muscular, and have the most calluses I have ever seen on their hands. And could quite easily be some of the sweetest, nicest most loving men I have ever met.

The bowling alley in Colville was full of them. And I always just wanted them to hug me. They were ridiculous flirts, and loved their wives as much as I have ever seen men love women. Ax Men brings all of that out into the field so you can see how they spend their day. I knew they came home dirty, but I never knew what they did all day.

Its a great show.. but can I seriously get some insight in to the people?
History channel website (www.history.com) you leave me disappointed and wanting more.

My other show of choice this night is Top Gear. I heart you Top Gear. I heart you for your witty British quips, and your blatant use of expletives, and Oliver. I've seen many a Top Gear video on youtube, but I love the show completely. It's one of my highlights, and it curbs that testosterone craving I occasionally have.

I know it's terrible to love television this much, but I do.

Now off to bed to read, and further my intellectual capacity.





Walden Media, you delightful bastards....

Truth be told I just got done crying my way through "Bridge to Terabithia". Now,it was no Narnia, which we all know the previews will choke me up, but it was for sure good. I have to think that the people at Walden have to understand what it means to be a kid, one who read to get away, to read for enjoyment rather than assignment because they get it right every single time.

Kudos to you, dudes.

Spent the weekend finishing up he room redo. Bazaam glamour. This is the best living space i have ever had, hands down. Thanks and bignups to my personal decorator, sister, and life coach, Melissa. You did it did it did it didit girrrrrll.

Other than that the new set up has created a little sanctuary and let's just say the extreme reading has once again comenced. I can't get enough. And it has been some time since that happened.

Thats all I've got for you tonight, I'll write more when I'm not on the phone.




Oh my friend, it's good to see you again...


The tan, toned body is a happy body.

Throat, tonsils, and adenoids... I thank you for the learning experience. I also thank you for the two weeks of liquid diet and bland food which prepared me for the upcoming weeks and got me to stop eating so much junk food.

ps. You rule.


It's no small secret that quitting food was hard for me. Face it, I like the stuff. But I quickly found that being rested, having good food in my belly, and getting a little work out on makes me a happy camper.

That and a saturday afternoon room redecoration, but that's a whole other story.

I found after I started "eating" again that I had an AMAZING amount of energy. And then I got to thinking, well duh! of course! I haven't been rested in ALMOST A YEAR. Can you believe I have been going through this no-breathing-no-sleeping-extreme-headaches-constant-fever for almost a year?

(Ray, that is your fault, btw, I won't hear any different)

So I've been going to the gym (all of two days) but for the first time in a long time I actually left the gym wanting to go again the next day. I know that seems odd, but for the longest time when I could actually get myself up to go all I wanted to do afterward was sleep for 3 days to recover, it was ridiculous.

I just feel good.

I can't imagine feeling better.

I know I say that a lot.

But to hell with it, I'm happy with myself, and my life, and whenever I get that way things get better. Which I can't seem to stop.

Now, on to the room redo...

I have decided to just forget pretending like I like color. Unless silver is a color,\ it's all about black and white. I guess that excludes eyeshadow (Paint me a rainbow), and some clothes (every once in awhile black tank tops like to have friends)

So the teal has gone away. And it is being replaced. I'll post pictures soon.

I know I should listen to my sister whole heartedly when she tells me what to do to my room. She tells me, "imagine you are about to watch someone put on makeup, with your makeup tray"... but dammit, I don't want the sticks by my chandelier painting.


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First day back...

Last day I'm that ambitious without some understanding of what I'm getting myself in to.

I yearn for a day three weeks from now where I can honestly say that I feel awesome. Where it doesn't hurt to swallow. Where I can eat bread.


Today was as much of a shock as the first day out of surgery. It was the first day I had really spent in my normal, comfortable world, and I have to say it almost made me lose it.

It's crazy the things that your body goes through when it's healing, and I just didn't think I was that vulnerable, is that wrong? I mean it never really occurred to me that I could feel this way. I honestly thought I would be back in the office after 4 days and happy as a clam, with a bit of a sore throat. I HAD NO IDEA. none.

The appointment with the surgeon yesterday was interesting to say the least. 1, it was a different doctor, who had interesting Montana stories that we chatted about. 2, they told it will be 3 more weeks until I am back to normal. 3!!! 3!!! (I was so excited to type 3 I typed a #... I almost left it to make a point)

Either way I am learning that this is what it's like to be human.


In other developments, huge thanks to T today, who managed to save me while I was going under. My brain was absolute mush today, and he helped me out, big time. w00t to you, T. w00t to you.

I will be spending the evening prostrate on the couch trying to put the pieces of my mind together.

And singing along to Enchanted in spirit, since I can't do it out loud.




a bit of random...

I never post videos... but this one totally weirded me out. Wait until he kicks it... wow...

I added a twitter to my page... because all I really need in life is someone to talk to... and the internet at large will like my little anecdotes... I also think it will help me remember who I need to blog to.

I remembered tonight one of the reasons I miss living with boys... I ironed my clothes for upwards of an hour and a half.

I love ironing, and I love vacuuming, and I love cooking big meals, and just all of that. I like having a housefull to take care of. And I seriously miss that in my life now.

It might be time to make it happen.

Tomorrow is the final with the surgeon! I will then go back to the office. And they will make fun of my Minnie Mouse voice, but I will be happy to be back. I miss my office. A lot.

Tired.. must sleep and watch the rest of Hitman.. for the 4th time. :)



The Mothership is landing!

My Mommy is coming to see us!!!

And we are so very excited. I mean, how can you not be. Have you ever met my mom? She's three sheets crazy but we love her because that means there is a reason why we are, and we therefore aren't alone.

It's all about excuses for our odd behavior.

While she is here we have big huge gigantic plans.

Okay so maybe not that huge but we're definitely going to do the things that we love to do together. That means good food, some fun sights, shopping and movies. In no particular order.

In fact, I think if you asked any one of us, us being bigskystarlet, my mom, or myself, we would probably put them in a completely different order. And that is definitely what makes us so awesome. Guarantee, there will be lots of laughing and we'll definitely make my mom say, "OH, you girls" quite a few times, but for us all it's definitely going to be one of our favorite times this year.

I don't really know what it is, but for myself definitely, and I could probably say for my sister too, my mom has some sort of quality that always levels us out. I mean, she's our mom, and maybe that's just because it's her genetic make-up to make sure we are happy and doing well, but our mom really does that for us.

See, my mom is the woman who taught us both to cook, who made me understand the importance of matching my shoes to my dress, who helped me appreciate completely terrible but completely enjoyable action movies, and still manages to be considered sweet and lovely, and cuss like a sailor.

I think it's because whenever my mom cusses she laughs like she's embarrassed.

Since I moved in with my sister we reminisce a lot. And in a good way because we had a damn good childhood, but 95% of the stories about my mom relate in some way to how one of us is doing something exactly like her. I can't even say if one of us does it more. Hands down I have more of my mom's mannerisms, and I attribute that to the fact that I got to be around her more after she came out of the marriage to my dad, and I saw for the first time who she really was, which was soooo awesome. But my sister is definitely more like her. As in she treats situations with the same attitudes, and feelings.

Either way I hope she's proud of us, and that we're going to do her proud in the future.

Until then, getting to hear the stories of her life like the time recently when she thought she might have actually killed Bambi, and looking forward to her reactions to how my sister and I have changed since she last saw us including trying to imitate exactly what she will say in response to something, I get more and more excited about the upcoming visit and what it means to us as a family.

I know we're all getting older and I know we don't always get to talk all the time. But dammit if I don't love those girls and look forward to the three of us spending time together making Brian roll his eyes, and pray for help. (Knowing inside he's enjoying himself, and barely waiting to tell Travis about our silliness)

She's going to be here at the beginning of May, so I have lots of time to get more excited, but I figured I would fill you all in now, since I have the feeling to blog...

Lovies two times today!


Freaking New Woman and all that Jazzzz!

Ahh... What's that sound you ask?

That's me... content. Or it could be Minnie Mouse depending on what day it is. You see, for those of you in the know, you know I had some surgery... FINALLY!!! got my tonsils and adenoids removed, and it's been a completely humbling experience.

My surgery was scheduled on the 4th. I went in, in the morning with Brian. And got ready for surgery...

That picture, is what happens when you have Brian in a waiting room with you. You take pictures with your "Party Hat" at a jaunty angle.

I waited for a short time and then I was taken in. One of the last things I remember when I was being taken in for the surgery, and what I chose to be my last words for the next 8 days was notifying the OR at large, "Wow, they sure do let a mess of you in here, don't they?"

So of my roots come out under anesthesia, ps.

25-30 minutes later, I WAS DONE! Brian says that he was notified that my enormous tonsils had come out and I would be doing fabulously soon, and he could join me.

I'm now in the recovery room, waiting patiently for the world to right itself. I end up looking like this...

I also get very annoyed when small children scream. I had to ask the nurse, "Do they all act like that?" She replied with, "You should be here on ___________, when we're busy".

I fell in love with her a little bit.

I had to wait a bit so that I wasn't terribly disoriented on the ride home, and the nausea passed from the anesthesia, but I was out of there.

Here is where I have to say... Doctors and Nurses, you guys rock. Carole, who finally found where my IV could go in, and Kathy, my pre op nurse, thanks so much! You made me feel right at home, and laughed at my terrible jokes. You rule.

As for your decorating choices....

Why must the dog eat the baby?

So since that day I have been home. It was 3 solid days of sleeping, followed by 7 days of lots of napping, but working too. And now 3 or 4 days of what seem like normal, except for the Minnie Mouse voice, which comes and goes.

There is still some pain. I assume there will be until my muscles stop being so weirded out by the fact that they don't have my GINORMOUS tonsils to keep tabs on. But, I'm getting used to the liquid diet and small bites. It makes me eat less like a farm hand, and more like a lady. (Listen, I know I'm weird, but don't judge me by my table manners it's about my upbringing, and really not my fault)

I'm toying with going back to work tomorrow, but I don't know that I'm ready. I would really like a few more days... so I might go in for a few hours and just see how things go. But who knows, you might be hearing from me sooner rather than later :)

Well, I guess that's all for this evening, it's now time for a little guilty pleasure that is the Cutting Edge Marathon on ABC Family... We shall discuss tomorrow.