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I am finding myself, wondering.... about myself...

Spent the day getting new tires and a new phone.

It's Biggedy bad ass.

I did not find a place to live. That blows.

and I'm here. I really don't know why I come here. It's totally a vicious cycle. I want to and then when I do I am miserable. And I have no idea why I came. I get to sleep in a comfy bed... that's good enough...


I'm a delinquent, so what??

Okay, so since I actually have the internet every day I have no excuse not to post more. Except I have a problem being witty when I am trying to be polite and quiet.

This is a quiet house, not too quiet, but at night I feel as though the little click click of my faux fingernails on the keyboard would be annoying to someone, namely the people trying to sleep in the house. So I have not been typing as much as I would like. But I am up this morning to travel to CDA and Spokane on the apartment hunt. I am thinking if I just look then I will have no problem. But I work best under pressure, and what is better pressure really, than not having a place to live and staying out of your car??

That's right. That's pressure you bastards.

I have had a pretty uneventful week. Work has been awesome, busy, but awesome, I have had a couple of really great days. Everyone is happy, maybe it's just because Kim and I have -0- stress, so we actually don't care when everyone is fucking up. lol, and believe me, it's bad. I have been going through the last few days, saying to myself over and over and over again, "My God, this is never going to get done when I leave!" Because so much stuff isn't getting done unless I do it while I'm there! But oh yeah, that's not my fucking problem! Unless like Karen says, it's going to by my store again in a couple of years. Damn it. I do care.


On a completely different topic, I finally got to finish my book after leaving it at Ben's. I was completely disappointed. In reading the last few pages, I had the ending totally mis-interpreted, and it sucked. I mean it was good, a fitting ending to the novel, but not what I wanted. That's the unfortunate part to being a romance novel addict. I just want everyone to fall in love in the end, is that so bad? To want people to love? I don't think so.

Today I have to get ready, need to meet dad in two hours exactly, haven't gotten dressed yet, and I have a two hour and fifteen minute drive ahead. He was late last time. It's my turn

Love you biatches



This is the coolest thing ever

Had a good day at work today. I got to talk to my sister on my morning commute which was nice. I was totally jamming out to one of the amazing cd's she made me.

Kim comes back tomorrow, I am scared.

I got the email sent out tonight.... hehehe... we'll see!! Will explain more privately.

Going to go finish that damn book!



AH! And the angels freaking sing!

So, hmm.... yes.... I have the internet in the residence in which I am staying. Granted it took me since Thursday to figure it out, because I am that cool, and I have had a busy weekend.

Jason came to town! He bowled a tournament and won. It was good to see him. It's odd when you talk to someone for so long and then when you see them in person for the first time in like a year and some months to actually hear their voice come out of a real live person it's kinda scary.

But it was nice, he looked good. But I don't think that either one of us was in the mood to really hang out. I had a hellish weekend at work, and I think that I was out of the mood more. But he's sweet, and maybe I will get to see him again sometime soon.

In other news...

Ben has ducky. and he won't give her back. He's going to force me to come to town and remove her physically. You just don't fuck with the ducky like that. Bastards My neck feels vulnerable at night without ducky there...

I will write again soon..



Auf Wiedersehen, good-bye...

To you, and you, and you and you and you...

Don't know when I will be back... next week I am going to be in cda on my day's off, and then after that, I am going to have to break down and get internet.

I need to punch something. And I need a cup of coffee. Maybe not in that order.

I don't think you will find me writing from this location again, or at least not anytime soon.

will write more later


One of these days...

So seriously, on my way here, I totally got a flat tire. It took like a half hour for someone to actually stop and help me. I can't handle it.

I guess tonight I can't handle a lot of things.

I fell absolutely in love with the roller rink cds though. They are great...

ps. I'm not in the mood... I will explain later.


sometimes I don't think I can handle it...

I love my parents. I really do... but I can't handle them. And that's all I have to say about that...

I am so totally addicted to Laguna Beach. It's horrible. Horrible television. And I really wanna punch all of the girls on the show, repeatedly, but I actually can't get enough of the show. I wanna watch it all of the time. And I have seen most of the episodes more than once, but I don't even have television. Isn't that sad? Maybe that should just be a salute to MTV programming, and the ability they have to play shows a million and one times.

I dyed my hair last night, it got darker. I love it, love it, love it, love it, love it.... it makes my new haircut fit a little bit better...

I searched for an apartment today, umm... yeah... CDA doesn't like people who live in apartments evidently. So it looks like I am going to be living in the Valley. lol!!! I will totally be living in the Valley. YES!

I should just get a place on Sprague... that would be bomb diggity. Maybe I will just live in a used car lot, and sleep in the back of the camry. I'm sold. It's a done deal...

going to head out for now... swing through moscow... cause it's on my way to the TC's.


p.s. I like abbreviations.


It's MOVE-OUT day you wannies!

Today is move out day. I finally get out of the hell-hole bordello that is Wylie's house. I have been there all of 3 nights in the last two weeks and two of the nights he had drunken sluts over being loud until like 4 in the morning. WTF?
As I live in the basement and I can hear everything, I am sure I have now become that bitch in the basement to all of his friends. Do I care? no.
Today my dad is coming to town to get all my stuff, and then it is going to wait for me in Colville, until I find a place in Coeur D'Alene. Wylie doesn't know. I drew the line on telling him when on Sunday night, or was it monday, he came down into my room after the sluts had left to tell me that he was going to sleep in my bed, cause he knew I wanted to cuddle. I don't cuddle. With anyone. In fact I'm a cold bitch, so to hear this I was a little surprised. So I fought with him for like an hour and a half, and then I got to get up and go to work. It was freaking awesome. So I decided to move out.

So there.

In other news, I will be staying with Jen. She's a bad ass. And letting me stay at her house the few days I have left in the Tri-Cities. It's awesome.

But I am waiting for dad to get to town so I blew some time at the library. My only internet outlet in the tri-cities.

In other news I got some amazing cd's from my sister, http://bigskystarlet.blogspot.com, and they are simply amazing. She is seriously a cd making goddess. So that's going to make the next few days of driving great. Now if only I could get her to respond to my damn emails. Hoe, do it.

Wait just a second, do you spell hoe with an e? Or is the e used only when referencing the garden implement? Would the variation on slut actually be ho? And do they then have something to do with ho-ho's? Call Websters. We must find out.

I think that is all for now. The rest of my life stories will wait until I am away from the library, and the immigrant-worker-man sitting next to me isn't reading over my shoulder.


P.S. Just did some experimentation with italics? A success? Yes, I think so...


But the seats automatically move back so you can get out!!

I did a no-no yesterday. I went to the dealership where we got the cobra. And I looked at a new LS.
The car is freakin' beautiful man. It has heated seats, moon roof, navi, 6 disc "thx" stereo, push button e-brake, adjustable memory pedals, automatic headlights, speed sensing wipers, an adjustable armrest, for us short armed folks, hid lights, your mom, heated rear seats, led rear parking sensors, your mom's mom, and so much more!

I opted for the les appearance package on the v-8 sport. That means it has aluminum all inside, looks incredibly like it wasn't made for someone who is 50. It also changes the front fascia on the car. it's beautiful.

I highly recommend going to lincoln.com to take a look. (Black on black scheme btw)

I'm newly obsessed, have always been obsessed, but I'm all sorts of obsessed again.

Oh yeah what's it going to cost me? 48, 350, after the 6 grand rebate.

ba bam.



r-diggity, lyricist and bad-a** MC

(Not that I have a problem with the naughty words, but that's so much better with the asterisk)

There is this girl who works for our Corporate office, her name is Amori. She grants the credit for the people that come see me in the store. We have this excellent habit of emailing each other whichever song happens to be in our heads that day. The other day I faxed the "Glory of Love" from Karate Kid. Because simply, I am a man who will fight for your damn honor. And she came back with "Short Man" from the stunning, and always literate Gillette. (Wouldn't it have been cool if she and Rico Suave' had gotten married? She would have been Gillette Suave, and then, when they got divorced she would have had issues every time she went down the shaving cream aisle, because of the memories... )

whoa... tangent... back to the point.

I was very upset yesterday, when scanning my favorite lyrics website, www.azlyrics.com, that I couldn't find any of the lyrics from Scapegoat Wax. Excellent band, and I'm pretty sure they did covers, but I want the lyrics to Space to Share. and they don't have them. I mean lines like, "Sitting on the steps, watching ugly children go by..." YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT SHIT! it was depressing.... they should definitely rename the website, a-z lyrics.com (except our s is less than complete...)



Well I'll be damned, it did go through

I hate computers.

I totally just wrote this post and then I went to publish it, and the computer started having an attitude. So if it shows up and I repeat myself, Rinse, and repeat again.

Anyway, I am spending my day scrounging for nourishment in my mothers house, and reading the last of the Dragon Star books. Skybowl, the final novel written by Melanie Rawn in this series, brings everything to a conclusion. I hate to say it but I actually read a few of the last pages to find out how it ends. But only like the last paragraph, that's usually safe. And I'm so excited. I figure if I kill 150 pages a day, it should only take me like 4 more days!

I haven't read a book this long since the Clan of the Cave Bear series. Now that was some f'd up shit. Those crazy neanderthals, and their mating habits. I believe that might have been my first experience with smut. It was a vicious mind numbing cycle that I am afraid I will never be able to get out of.

Speaking of, I was writing my profile, and it asks you your favorite books, and I naturally put smut. Because I'm not really picky, I'll read just about anything, and then searched for other people with the same interests, and there are quite a few! It was rather interesting. But not quite as interesting as the other people who liked Science-Fiction. Those crazy Trekkies.

peace out for now


There are good moods, and there are great moods...

I'm in a good mood.

I can't wait till I move. The way Jerry talked it is a sure thing. But I am holding out until Friday.

My mom is at her boyfriends or something, and so I have her house for the day, or two that I am here. I was really excited when I got here last night and there was actually a key for me to get in. I was really glad that I just got here. My "no fuel" light had been on since deer park.

I don't really have much else to tell you for right now. I'm in the middle of a great book by Melanie Rawn. It's the last of the ones that I have been reading since like 1997. I finally finished all of them and then bought the last one. I'm excited for the ending, I'm thinking that some things I wanted to happend from the start will actually happen.

Anyway, will be back again later today.



well, it's back to the Dri Shitties again...

These are the days of our lives...
(bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone.....)
lol, if you understand that retarded reference more power to you. seemed funny...

Spent the last two days in Lewiston. The store there is amazing, and I really think they are going to come together nicely. They have an awesome base, and a decent manager, and it's going to be great.

Currently at the boys house.. ooooh it's going to hit the fan....

Got to see all of the regulars at the shop tonight. Love them. Going to miss them if I'm not around very often anymore.

Kennewick in the morning, Colville tomorrow night. If I work it out right, I might not be in Tri-Cites for the better part of the week. woohoo!

anyway, I will type more when I can sit down at home.



From Hi! to Lowes...

I don't know what has happened, but in the last hour my attitude got super shitty. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with where I am at.

I guess it's do or die. Or as Puffy would say, Vote or DIE. my vote is for I pass out tonight in the most comfortable bed on the planet, and wake up tomorrow in Tri-Cities. It's probably not going to happen that way but I can hope can't I?

I made it here is a reasonably decent time, considering that I was on the cut off. About a year ago, (and fifteen days or so) I almost died in a car accident on that highway. Fact of the matter is that I actually walked away. But if my seat hadn't been tilted like it was the roof would have caved in on my head. so... yeah... It was a little harrowing, like it always is. It's so funny, because I trust Ben more than anyone on the planet, but the way he drives that cut-off it seriously scares me. So I usually just close my eyes and clench my fingernails into his arm if it is too much.

It's good to see the kitties. They are adorable. The little girl, I believe she got named Cactus, actually growls at her toys! It's priceless. Milton has started to get along with Ralph, so it's a big happy fucking family around here.

Anyway, that's all for now.. maybe more later...



Just so you know, that was a scream of joy!

I just got off the phone with Kendra. And so cross our fingers after we meet in person on Friday, the transfer will be sealed.

We had a meeting on Wednesday in the store, and some things happened, that are really going to turn the store around, and take it to the next level. Working with Kim and Bill that day was awesome. And so I wanted to tell her that. So I called and she says, "I have a proposition for you... " and my heart sank. I was like, oh shit, my attitude fucked up somewhere, and now I'm in trouble. She says, "Jerry wants you to go to Lewiston, and set up the office there. Organize everything and get it all situated. Do you think you can do it in 2 days?" Damn right.

Soo... woohoo for me!

I'm extremely stoked. This is like everything happening so great. That last few months have been such a drag, and now it's all falling together. woohoo!

anyway, going to go see Dad. and then head out.

the rachmeister

Guten Morgen!

Wow, that actually brings back horrible memories of my german classes.

But it is for sure the morning.

I am heading out today, I haven't decided if I am going to make it back to the Tri-Cities, or maybe swing through Moscow. I have been playing phone tag with the Mgr. at Coeur D'Alene, and might have to go there before I go home.

Me and Avery need to talk. So I am thinking that a short stop there would be appropriate.

Slept like the dead last night. Which I don't understand because there is the most uncomfortable bed at my mom's house imaginable. but I am not at Wylies, so that's all that matters.

Got to talk to the Bradley last night, but he is sick, so I think I will have to swing in and give him a hello next time.

This is probably the last time I will get a chance to write for a week or so. Next week I will be at a computer probably Wednesday, and then who knows. I have to see, I forgot I switched my schedule for Jason....

Anyway... More from the front lines later.


Just Born: Makers of everyone's favorite candies

Bwah ha ha... for every season!!

Biggity Back

So here is the deal. I'm offically in love.

This is like talking to people without having to talk to people. It's great. I am a huge supporter of talking to yourself. I mean come on, it's like one of the most amazing things a person can do. Best conversation I have, each day. But have you ever beentalking to yourself and you get caught on a word in your head. And then you spend the next few thoughts examing that word?

I was reading a text message today from my friend Sergio. And he asked me when I was going to be back. Well because at the time I was bawling my eyes out to the end of "A League of their Own" I didn't respond, ASAP. But I had the word back in my head. and I just kept saying it and shaping it and changing it. It was crazy. lol, maybe I'm crazy.

Being here at mom's, I remember what it is like to have television. Television is kinda just one of those things I really don't notice I do without. But I haven't had cable for like 8 months. And I haven't had any TV for like, 3 months. Whoa there turbo, I can still watch movies, but no programmed television.

Today I dropped in on Jepoardy, that damn Ken Jennings; Watched hours of MTV, what is up with Laguna Beach; and fought with my gag reflex while watching Trading Spaces, S E L L O U T S. It was weird... but proves to me that watching tv is like riding a bike. You don't really ever forget.

Speaking of my day, I finally took that shower at like 7:30. My then highlight was full hair and makeup for my profile picture. Yes, I do live in a sad sad world. Then read some fantasy novel that I bought in like 1997, but recently resurrected and re-read, because I had exhausted all of my other reading options. (Nora Roberts totally has a new trilogy coming out in October. I should talk to my sister about what happened to the "Key" books.)

About this blog... I hope to write frequently. I have like once a week access to the internet. So I'm thinking it's going to go in spurts, like so much else in my life.

Peace out for now


It's Me!! I'm attempting to get this set up for my profile. Posted by Hello


Come on! Just jump on the bandwagon!

Well, Well, Well. It's got me.

I find as I read the posts, and blogs of people I know, and people that I would like to get to know that this whole situation could be incredibly soothing. It's like airing my dirty laundry, my thoughts that border on lunacy and my sometimes obnoxious opinions to everyone.

I feel better already.

So I don't have to tell you who I am lets just start with some current events.

Back at mom's house for a couple of days. This has totally become my safe haven from the hellhole that is Tri-Cities. I swear if I get woken up one more time at 2 am by my drunken roomates trying to sleep with me, I'm going to simply walk out.

On a positive note, as soon as the company decides where they want me I am going to be out of there. And currently it looks like Coeur D'Alene. (Why is it that is the most retarded name ever! I spell it wrong 9 times out of 10) But we'll see. Everything is so hush, hush right now that it makes it hard to get anything done. That meetings we had the last couple of days with Don, Don and Jerry went exceptionally well. I felt as though someone had rubbed me 'till I purred. We three (Tamara, Kim and I) got to bask for a few short hours in the glory of ourselves. And I got to see that biatch from the Valley make a complete fool of herself.

I'm on sabbatical from the demensia that is my pseudo relationship. I go through these no tolerance phases. so we haven't talked in a week. I just get to the point that I don't know why I even try.

J-dub is coming to town. lol, although he told me the 14th and 15th and today I was looking at the pba website, www.pba.com, and found out it's the weekend before halloween rather. He's more disorganized than I am. But since I changed my schedule, oh well, it's not like it was an inconvenience to anyone.

I'm thinking about showering. I haven't done that today, and I quite enjoy it. But you know when the hair on your legs starts to rub on your pajama pants? I'm at that point, maybe a shower is the next thing that is going to happen.

well, I just wanted to write this little note. Say howdy, and do all that.

I'll probably write again today if I get off my ass and do anything.



P.S. My sisters childhood friend always used to say that. Weird...